Wild Horses Keep Dragging Me Away

One uncertainty has been lingering over my head for some time now. The anxiety of this decision keeps building and building. What do I want to be when I grow up? When I say this to my students they laugh at me and say "You're already grown up, Mrs. Stan. And you are a teacher."

But the truth remains that I honestly don't know where I will be or what I will be doing 10 years from now. I assume that I will be somewhere in the field of Education, but I still have this overwhelming desire to live on a horse ranch in Wyoming or some other remote area. However, I also still frequently dream of playing the guitar and singing my way across the sidewalks of the U.S. I am not sure what either of these dreams means....I suppose that I am not finished being young and adventurous?

I have some major life changing decisions ahead of me and I honestly cannot make a decision for which direction to go...do I start my doctoral program in some area of Education? Should we start having children? Do I want to move somewhere new and begin a new career? Should I go all the way back to my original dream and retry for Vet school? All of the questions just have me super confused and completely frozen. I suppose the greatest pressure anyone can feel though is the pressure they put upon themselves.

I never was very good at making the best decisions. Anyone from my hometown knows that. Nor will they most likely ever forget it. Hahaha...Perhaps in my "old age" my choices have been getting better and I will end up exactly where I am supposed to be. Even if that place is gypsy singing cowgirl chasing wild horses.....

10 Years....

"You know how the time flies, only yesterday was the time of our lives. We were born and raised in a summer haze, bound by the surprise of our glory days."

Adele's words hit pretty close to home for me right now. I just received information on my ten year high school reunion. That's right. TEN YEARS. It seems like yesterday I was living Hartsfield, Georgia and spending more time in a bathing suit than any other article of clothing. It's like I just blinked and was 28 years old...

And this, my friends, has been a very hard pill for me to swallow. Some people age so gracefully and peacefully. It appears that they continue each year of their lives and are so content. Unfortunately, I am not one of those people. I guess part of me still feels like a reckless teenager...

When I make comments like this to some of my older and wiser colleagues, they laugh at me and say "Oh Grace, wait til your 40 year high school reunion. Then, you are allowed to feel old." Well, I kinda feel old at my ten year. And oh the pressure that comes with that feeling....the pressure of children, of retirement funds, of more life insurance, the pressure of whether or not I should start botox....haha, are you getting my stream of consciousness? 

Despite my resentment to getting older, I am looking forward to the reunion. I find myself flipping through my old yearbooks to look up friends and familiar faces. I may not be ecstatic about getting old, but I am very excited and curious to see how everyone turned out, to find out where they are and where they have been in this world...

CCHS class of 2001, I guess I will see you very soon.

Raindrops on Roses....

So, I have to admit something. I REALLY don't want to go back to school tomorrow after this beautiful weekend off. I guess my pit of anxiety started when I thought about the fact that my students have 2 weeks until the CRCT. I try really hard not to let this assessment stress my kids (or myself) out. However, with the new education proposals to pay teachers based on student performance, it is becoming increasingly harder to NOT get stressed out. But...this post is not about that.

A list of 100 reasons (more like gripes) about why I didn't want to get up early in the morning to go to school started running through my head. And then I started thinking...I just spent three beautiful days with the most amazing children at the beach. What do I have to gripe about? So...to get my head out of the "Monday Blues" I decided to start thinking of my "raindrops on roses" or in simpler terms: things that make me happy. Life is just too short to complain, be bitter or dread going to work. So instead, why not make a list of things that make you happy and try to do at least one thing on that list everyday?

My list? Well, there are alot of things that bring a smile to my face so I will just name a few:

Laying in the sunshine
Painting
Making jewelry
Taking pictures
Gardening or planting flowers
Playing with my dogs and watching their little butts wiggle because they are so excited to see me
Going for a walk or run at dusk just when the temperature starts to drop
Beautiful sunsets
Making people laugh
Having a student truly appreciate something I do for them
My feet in the sand at the beach
Listening to the radio with my windows down
Night swimming during the summer
Golf cart riding
New shoes
A glass of wine with a best friend
Dinner Club with my neighbors
My family


As you can see, my list does not mention anything about sitting indoors making lesson plans or playing on a computer. So...I am going to go outside and enjoy my raindrops on roses......

Pure Joy...

 "I continue to believe that if children are given the necessary tools to succeed, they will succeed beyond their wildest dreams!"

I had the amazing opportunity to take 42 fifth grade students to the Jekyll Island 4-H Center for three days and two nights this past week. Now, some might believe this a very daunting task, but for me, it was exactly where I wanted to be.

My morning began at 5:15 a.m. on Wednesday as I arrived to the school to meet 42 very excited and AWAKE eleven year olds. I was hesitant to load the bus to travel 6 hours as I knew my sleep would be limited by the chatter of eager students making predictions of what was to come. With help from the Big Man, we all arrived safely to the Island and I was able to keep a calm and normal blood pressure.

After settling into our dorms, we began our very packed schedule for the next three days.

The students enjoyed learning about Georgia's coast and all of the beauty it has to offer. Some of the amazing classes we participated in included Beach and Marsh Ecology, Fish dissection, Seining and Nets, and a Dock study on marine life. The students were "elbows deep" (literally) in fish guts, detritus, sand and ocean, and many other amazing things. We also took the students to the Georgia Sea Turtle Center on the Island. There students were able to experience the "life of a sea turtle." They learned about the endangered species and ways that humans can intervene to keep from these amazing creatures from becoming extinct.

One of the students' favorite parts of the trip was an Eco Boat Tour in which we traveled out into the Inter-coastal Waterway. The students were able to handle different fish, squids, a horse shoe crab as well as witness dolphins swimming and jumping within 10 feet of our boat. It was amazing none of the students jumped overboard with their excitement. We also had the opportunity to see a pair of Bald Eagles sitting on a power line. I hope the students realize how special that moment was.

My favorite part of the trip? That's easy. Watching my students hit the beach for the first time. For most of my students it is their first time to the beach and for some it is their first time out of Athens. Unfortunately, many of my students come to school with basic needs unmet, whether it is food, shelter, love, belonging. There is truly too much baggage that I could talk about. But not today. When those kids hit the beach for the first time they are exactly what they are supposed to be: kids. I may not do anything else in my life that allows me to feel the way I do when I see that student taste the salty water of the ocean for the first time and say, "Mrs. Stan, it really is salty." And I played a small part in that life experience. The feeling I get? I call that feeling pure joy...

After three long (but incredible) days, we loaded back on our packed charter bus and headed back to Athens. As we left the island, the students were quiet and reflective about their experience. Many students wrote in their journals, while some stared longingly out of the windows remembering a time in which they will never forget. And don't worry guys, I could never forget either.